Don't Go Away

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Ace Of Base Movement

Don't Go Away

By Sentinel Cat

Disclaimer: Credit to Pet Fly, UPN and anyone else that Sentinel belongs to. I don't own them, just borrowing them a little bit. I also used some of Ace of Base's lyrics from her CD Cruel Summer off of their webpage, http://www.aceofbase.net/songs/hd.htm.

Notes: I got the idea for this story after constantly listening to the new Ace of Base's CD, Cruel Summer. I started noticing how their songs, in a certain order told a story. They just screamed Jim and Blair. I'd like to thank my wonderful internet friend, Isabel Tan for beta'ing this story. As well as a deep love for Ace of Base, she also has been cheering me up through some troubling times. This series is strictly for her. I hope this makes up for the cruddy life you've had lately.

Don't Go Away by Ace of Base

One step hesitation, one step into the night

don't mind the weather, it's raining in my heart tonight

much more to living, two wrongs don't make aright

you're gonna regret it, when you're looking back

on your life

don't go away, make the most of this love I'm giving

don't go away, better take another look at my face

you can be what you wanna be, hmm, but don't go away

some dream of fortune, others dream of fame

seconds after leaving, life'll never be the same

fell for temptation, it didn't mean a thing

we'll last forever, if you turn around, once again

don't go away, make the most of this love I'm giving

don't go away, better take another look at my face

you can be what you wanna be, hmm, but don't go away

do you wanna be more than a picture on the wall

something to remind me of how it all went wrong

do you wanna be more than a number forgotten in a book

you're holding something special so take another look

you're gonna regret it, when you're looking back,

on your life

Don't go away!!!! Please God, don't go away!! I didn't mean to do the things I did. I can't believe this. I knew I'd force you away somehow. I've been a pessimist since we met. I should have been an optimist. All my life, I've somehow screwed up with the people I love. I didn't mean it.

I kicked you out of the loft because I was afraid. I was afraid of just how vulnerable you make me feel. Alex was just the last straw. After finding out what you wrote in the dissertation, we just went down hill. All this time!! I always thought I had plenty of time to tell you I love you. But I didn't and now you're gone.

I thought you were dead!! I wanted to die!! All I could feel was you leaving me in the lurch. I don't want to live without you. We could have made it if I'd just told you. But I didn't. And now, I have to live with the worst mistake of my life. Two wrongs don't make a right. You're gonna regret leaving me, as I will you. You can't have two people sharing what we did and not experience that destructive emotion called regret.

When I kicked you out of the loft, I did so to protect you. It was the only way I knew to protect you. I knew something was wrong. I saw the other cat, the regular coated jaguar. Somehow I knew I had a rival. I'd already made all the wrong decisions I could. This was just the final straw. Racing to the campus, all I could think about was you. God, I just knew my actions had caused you to finally be dead. When I saw you lying in the fountain, all I could think was, It happened, It finally happened. I finally lost the person who I love with all my heart.

Knowing I'd lost all chance of feeling you in my arms, feeling your lips upon my sensitive skin. Your exquisite mouth sucking and pulling on my tongue, providing all the taste I'd need. The touch of your wonderful hands pulling me from a zone-out. The sound of your heart soothing me as I go to sleep. The vision of your vibrancy, bursting into my daily activities. The smell of the natural essences you use every day, creating your unique scent. Just knowing I would never have a chance to make love to you. To pound into your sweet smelling body, ready to explode your cream all over me. To know, I'd never have a chance to taste your passionate release, only you could provide. To feel you ramming that thick rod into me, massaging my prostate to make me ecstatic with desire. To have that body 100% mine. And mine 100% yours. To know finally, peace in my life.

I was warned. By everybody around me. I was told by Simon don't do anything foolish, because I'd regret it. Hell, I even had an angel telling me not to give up on love. I've been given enough God given messages that I should have got the clue. But I realized everything too late.

Sitting here on the chair of the hospital, all I could do was think, I have another chance. When I felt your heartbeat again, it was a ray of light into my life. All I planned was to tell you how sorry I was. That I'd never do it again. It was the first thing I wanted to tell you.

But you wouldn't let me near you. The doctors told me that Blair Sandburg didn't want to see me. That he'd sue the hospital if I came near him.

Oh God!! I wanted to die. Here I am, ready to make the biggest confession of my life and you won't let me near you. And when you're released, I try to see you, but Simon tells me you've had a restraining order placed upon me. And then I find out you're taking an expedition to New Zealand, to explore one of the tribes there for a year, while finishing your dissertation.

In what seemed like a heartbeat, I lost everything. I lost you.

Because I hesitated telling you what you mean to me, you didn't want anything I have to give you. You couldn't make the most of the platonic love you thought I could only give you. And the damn thing about it all, is that I know you're gonna regret it. Whenever, you look back upon you're life, and you remember all the could have beens, you'll regret it. I know you dream of fortune and fame, and you'll get it. It's just a matter of time with your intelligence and drive. But it can never take the place of what could have been.

I fell for the temptation of having someone in my life everyday, who knew the greatest secret I could have. Hell, you're a part of that secret. My guide!! The only person who can bring me back to reality. My other self!

I fell for the idea of the anal, silent cop, who can't reveal what everybody else knows. I did what I shouldn't have, and what was forever is not forever anymore.

Please turn around. Come back to me. I don't want you to be just another picture hanging on the wall, reminding me exactly what I did wrong to push you away. I don't want your number to be just another number in the phone book of my old and past acquaintances. You hold something special in the palm of your hands. My heart. Come back!! Take another look at me. You won't regret it.

But it's too late.

I can never get him back!

The end

Description:

This song is an instant trademark AOB classic, adding a new element such as a nasty wah-wah rhythm guitar part. This is an incredibly moving song composed by Ulf and John Ballard. A stellar vocal performance by Jenny crowns this jewel produced by Ulf, Charles Fisher with additional production by Stonestream and a final mix by David Leonard.

Words from the band:

A love song saying make the most out of your life -but try sharing it with someone. Speaking from my own experience in life and feelings. The idea came to me in front of the fireplace after a day of skiing in Sierra Nevada. It's an experiment to achieve a new sound

-Buddha