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Ace Of Base Movement
Captain Nemo   |   He Decides   |   Travel To Romantis   |   Don't Go Away   |   Everytime It Rains   |   Into The Night Of Blue   |   I Pray   |   Life Is A Flower   |   Whenever You're Near Me   |   Always Have, Always Will
Into The Night Of Blue
By Sentinel Cat
Disclaimer: Credit to Pet Fly, UPN and anyone else that Sentinel belongs to. I don't own them, just borrowing them a little bit. I also used some of Ace of Base's lyrics from her CD Cruel Summer off of their webpage,

Notes: I got the idea for this story after constantly listening to the new Ace of Base's CD, Cruel Summer. I started noticing how their songs, in a certain order told a story. They just screamed Jim and Blair. I'd like to thank my wonderful internet friend, Isabel Tan for beta'ing this story. As well as a deep love for Ace of Base, she also has been cheering me up through some troubling times. This series is strictly for her. I hope this makes up for the cruddy life you've had lately.

Into The Night of Blue by Ace of Base

Into the night of blue, into the night of blue...

Haven't heard your voice for a long long time
Still you have me hanging on the line
Still thinking 'bout you
Haven't seen a smile upon my face
And I haven't slept a night for days
I go, I go

Into the night of blue
You don't know what I'm going through
Life is empty and sad without you
I'm living lonely, where's my baby
Into the night of blue
I don't know what I'm gonna do
Life is empty and sad without you
I'm living lonely, where's my baby

In my mind are pictures of the past
Telling me a story meant to last
Still holding onto
Days out on the beach out in the sun
Nights when I was still your only one
Now I go, I go

Into the night of blue
You don't know what I'm going through
Life is empty and sad without you
I'm living lonely, where's my baby
Into the night of blue
I don't know what I'm gonna do
Life is empty and sad without you
I'm living lonely, where's my baby

Funny how these memories
Only lead me back to you
They lead me back to you
I go, I go...

Into the night of blue...

Damn, it's still happening. All I can think about is you. The past year has been hell. Trying to deal without of control senses as well as the daily routine and the not so routine things, I've had it up to here.

You aren't here. I love you with all my heart, but you aren't here to keep me sane. Simon tried to get me to find another guide, another partner. But I went ballistic. Absolutely refused to have any other partner but you. I ended up having to make a compromise. Megan, or when she's not there, Ryf or Brown, has to be there to help me with my senses, or Simon would pull me off the streets into a desk. I can't blame him. After the second week of constant zone-outs, he had to make that tough decision. So now? Now I'm partnered with Megan.

She tries to get through to me but she can't. I owe her a lot for being there when I needed her. I'm not in love with her or anything, but she's a good friend, like Simon, who has put up with a lot of crap and heartbroken sobs from me.

That's right, sobs, coming from yours truly. I never thought I'd live to see the day that I would have to cry. I've kept myself from crying over everything since I was a child. Men don't cry, or at least that's what my father always used to tell me. But he was wrong. Sometimes it's all we can do to keep us from bottling up all our emotions, where the pressure would have us do something we'd regret. Crying over you, Blair, is the only thing that has kept me alive to this day.

Out on the balcony, I stare at the city skyline and the exquisite midnight blue sky and think of you. I remember your body, and how masculine and beautiful it looks. I remember your voice, calm and soothing, providing a link to my reality, when I've submerged myself in one of my senses.

God, it's been so long. I can't believe it's been a year. Blair, I miss you. Without you, I'm only half alive. Every day, I constantly expect to hear from you, that you'll be late, that you'll pick up something on the way home and do I need anything.

They say you don't know what you have until you've lost it! Well, I have. It took me long enough to realize it, but I have.

Whenever you come back, if you come back, I'll be here. I'll always be here for you. I may have lost your love, but you still have mine. And no matter what, I have to find a way to tell you that.

I have to tell you that your smile brightened every day we were together. I have to tell you that without your constant heartbeat, I haven't slept for days, months, a year. That I'm empty, sad, regretful, and lost without you. I'm lonely. The stoic, silent man, who doesn't need anybody, admits to being lonely.

I still hold onto the memories of the past with you. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes me happy for just a fraction of time, before the weight of your absence penetrates my soul. All those memories tell me a story, one where there should be a happily ever after ending. Whether in the light of the sun, or dark of the moon, I'm constantly reminded of you, of our love.

I know, Blair, that we loved. It may have been the only thing that we kept silent, but it was there. This foolish man now has to deal with life without you. Never was I more sorry for myself, feeling the self pity of my loneliness. Living without you, I would be dead, but for the memories of our love. Even though I'm not alive, I can at least survive on the memory of our love. Because that's all I'll ever have. I lost everything else.

If I ever see you again, baby, I'll tell you I love you. It'll be the first thing out of my mouth. And then, I'll ask you to marry me. To commit yourself to me for the rest of my life. To love me, my body, my heart, my soul. I just hope you're not already committed, not already married.

Staring at the blue, blue sky, I'm reminded of your eyes, and the love that shone from within them. Life is empty and sad, but it's funny how these memories lead me back to you and make me smile. I wait for you. I'll always wait.

And into the night of blue, a phone call.

The end.

(Jonas "Joker" Berggren/Douglas Carr/Diane Warren)

This song is only released as a bonus track on the "Cruel Summer" maxi from mega.